who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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