I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize