wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize