bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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