We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
