why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
