I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
