I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Never underestimate the power of titties
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
