$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
