the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
