My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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