if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
