My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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