Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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