Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You're like the curious george of whores
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize