the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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