You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
