I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
