College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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