she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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