I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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