Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
