First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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