so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
