wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
