This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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