After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
