Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
