Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
