I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
