i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
