I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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