Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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