last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
