He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
