I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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