If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
