Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize