yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well you can't waste a boner
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let's get the cat blown out
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
