I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize