Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
