i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize