Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
