Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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