Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
