the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Vodka?
Forever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
