ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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