Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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