Already got asked if we're dating
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
