I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
