was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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