the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
