i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We have so much sex to catch up on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
