News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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