Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
