my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
