Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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