Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
